It all started on a hot and humid August afternoon as my good geo-buddy zumbido and I were having lunch along the Liberty shoreline. Since it was my turn to treat, we feasted on home-made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches paired with Heady Topper (of course!). After finishing his third beer, zumbido suggested an idea to have me place the multi to end all multis, completely encircling the entire Liberty Reservoir shoreline (so he is partially to blame for this series) to get revenge on all the local cachers who have been saying that I’ve gone soft. ‘Hmmm’, I replied as I lied back in the grass, twiddling my thumbs and pondering that idea. After a few hours of sleep, as we were gathering our belongings to leave for the day, we spotted a kayak approaching from across the horizon. Now, I sometimes hallucinate while in the woods, but it sure looked pink! With those pretty, little flower decals you used to see everywhere in the early-seventies. But as it got closer, our hearts sank as we realized that it was not pink, and not a kayak after all, but a huge ship manned by those dreaded pirates of Liberty, alzarius and lpaulriddle! They had come to plunder my Heady Topper!! Quickly, we dropped our stuff, gathered up every rock, every stick, every piece of ManBear scat that we could find and began bombarding their boat to scare them off. I distinctly recall one large piece of poop hitting alzarius square in the eye! After several minutes of heavy bombardment, with several ‘misses’ but a few key ‘hits’, the pirates cowered and began to paddle away. But not before one last ‘hit’, expertly aimed by zumbido, opened a massive hole in the hull of their ship quickly flooding it with water. As their battleship sank, all that was heard was one last cry (I think it came from lpaulriddle), “I’m so sorry! I’ll never mock the Catamounts again!!”
THE FAQS
What is the most important rule? NO SPOILERS!! Please do not post 'hits' and 'misses' in your logs. The ManBear is watching!!!
What are the other rules? It’s Battleship! You know, the game with ‘hits’ and ‘misses’? There are five boats (puzzles) hidden on a grid consisting of 100 letter/number combos (caches). You must enter ManBear territory in search of ‘hits’ while not cursing the CO for any ‘misses’ you find along the way. Each ‘hit’ will reveal partial coordinates to one of the boats (puzzles). Oh, and the ‘hits’ are never side-by-side on the real-world map. That would be too easy! Once you’ve sank all five battleships, you will have enough information to come and have a Heady Topper and relax and dream with the CO at Orlando’s Bar.
How long will the series take? How many miles will I have to hike? That’s up to you. It could conceivably be done in a few weeks without finding them all, but no one wants to be that dude sitting around at Orlando’s bragging about how many FTFs on the puzzles they got when they didn’t bother to find all the other hides. Miles to Orlando’s? I forgot to track them. Oops! But it’s safe to say that it is a large number! 50? 75? 100? Who knows…
Will the puzzles end up like that G.O. Joe tomfoolery? When I have the coordinates will I have to swim to some stupid island or something crazy? No! In fact, one of the puzzles is no worse than a T-2. The final final is only about a T-3, but I’ve upped it to a 5/5 for the cumulative miles.
What’s with your D/T ratings? Are you crazy? Yes. No. Maybe. The D-ratings should be acceptable to all. All the hides (with a few exceptions) are meant to be found, not confound. However, if you consider a 4’ stream crossing a perilous adventure rather than a long stride, there are hundreds of parking lot hides that may be more to your liking. I stand by my T-ratings!
What about those silly attributes? Umm, you’re in the woods? Do you really need someone to tell you that there might be spiders and stickers? Okay, I’ll play. ‘Public Restrooms Nearby’- All my hides follow proper P.P. Protocol (ProgKing Placement Protocol) which states that if you can’t pee at GZ, then it isn’t meant to be. ‘Drinking Water Nearby’- Look around. You’re at a Reservoir. Plus, Jaffy Jaf tells me that all my hides need to have water views from now on (I think it’s really so that she can push Uncle PhossyPants into the lake). And, you never know when you may get the urge to fling poop at some passing kayak cachers. ‘Food Nearby’- Wild mushrooms, dead birds, skunks…your choices are endless.
Why no parking coordinates and trailhead waypoints? Parking is available from dawn-dusk at many locations around the lake and most of the hides can be reached from multiple spots. There aren’t always trailheads since there aren’t always trails.
What’s with all the peanut butter jars as containers? The stories are true. I eat at least 3, sometimes 6, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches a day. Plus, I’ve found that they make sturdy, long-lasting containers. You’ll also find no swag and no gimmicky containers. In fact, the final is nothing more than a peanut butter jar wrapped in black tape with a piece of paper inside. I may have left a few empty Vermont beer cans in a few though. The wife’s been getting on my case about clearing some of them out of the house.
WHY? WHY? WHY? 106 hides? All in the woods? Really? I could have set up an easier series that would have been much more popular, but NCPositronics needs a good hike now and then! Isn’t that reason enough?
Relax and Dream!