[Archie is at bat and is almost hit by a pitch, twice]
Archie Graham: Hey, ump, how 'bout a warning?
Clean-shaven Umpire: Sure, kid. Watch out you don't get killed.
When I wasn't coaching my kids' teams I also volunteered to umpire a few games. Although I never had any run-ins with coaches or parents, incidents do happen. If you have kids that are playing organized baseball or softball please teach them, by example, of what respectful behaviour looks like towards other teams and of course the umpire. One hint that may help you find the cache comes from an old Wayne and Shuster skit where they portray a Shakespearean baseball game. Here is the hint:
Rocky: You, sirrah, that ball was fair!
Umpire 1: That ball was foul!
Rocky: So fair a foul I have not seen!