Now that I've solved all the Babe caches, I thought I'd make my
own.
Prospero
had a problem. He had to not deal with one Babe, but two. After
receiving some pickup lines from all his geeky and esoteric
friends, he thought he was ready to get his own Babes. He sought
the Babes of his dreams, but according to human societal norms, he
could only have one.
So Prospero devised a test to give to his Primitive Primate
Babes to determine whom he would have as his one and only Babe.
Both Babes were put in a room, each with a typewriter. The Babes
had some experience with programming and typing, so Prospero knew
it would be a snap. Prospero said a single sentence.
"Put enough monkeys in a room with a typewriter and they'll
produce Shakespeare."
The first Babe began typing up something that looked like it
came from a primitive tarpit, it was like a program, but with a
source code resembling a Shakespeareian play!
Prospero's Babe
Test for the Two Primitive Babes.
Romeo, a young handsome
man with pickup lines aplenty.
Juliet, a youthful
pretty Babe who's heard them all.
Act I: Trouble In
Venona
Scene I: Romeo And
Juliet's Discovery of Puzzle Caches
[Enter Romeo and
Juliet]
Juliet: You lying stupid
fatherless big smelly half-witted coward! You are as stupid as the
difference between a handsome rich brave hero and
thyself!
Romeo: You are as stupid
as the sum of a beautiful flower and a blossoming black tree! You
are as lonely as the sum of Romeo and thyself! Speak your
mind!
Juliet: You rich lovely
handsome brave huge tree! Speak YOUR mind!
Romeo: You are a stupid
devil! You are as trustworthy as the difference of a tree and
thyself! Open your heart!
Juliet: You are a vile
furry chihuahua. You are as clever as the sum of Juliet and
thyself! Open your heart!
Romeo: You are an
amazing beautiful blossoming bold brave charming clearest cunning
wind. You are as stupid as the difference of thyself and a brave
brave brave man. Speak your mind!
Juliet: You sweet pretty
prompt golden loving plum! Speak your mind!
Romeo: You bottomless
purse! Open your heart! You are the sum of an amazing beautiful
cousin and a graceful tree! Open your heart!
Juliet: You are as
fat-kidneyed as the product of a golden beautiful graceful angel
and a trusty worried tree. You are as distasteful as the sum of
thyself and Juliet! You are as distasteful as the sum of thyself
and Juliet! You are as dusty as the sum of thyself and a delicious
mistletoe! Speak your mind!
Romeo: Open your heart!
OPEN YOUR HEART!
Juliet: You blister! You
are as snotty as the sum of a black blue bold moon and thyself!
Open your heart!
Romeo: Am I greater than
you?
Juliet: If so, let us
proceed to Act II.
Act II: The One
Where They Exeunt
Scene I: The First
Scene Of The Last Act Which Would Be First Scene In The Act Where
They Shall Exeunt.
[Exeunt]
The second Babe looked at the
play, and said "Tsk, tsk." (As orangutans often say.) Being an
orangutan, he altered the program with a program of his own, one of
punctuation. (It's a common fact orangutans use gratuitious amounts
of punctuation.)
Prospero's! Babe?
Test! for! the? Two! Babes.
Romeo? a! young?
handsome! man! with? pickup! lines? aplenty.
Juliet. a? youthful.
pretty. Babe. who's. heard. them. all.
Act. I. Trouble.
In. Venona.
Scene. I. Romeo.
And. Juliet's. Discovery. of! Puzzle? Caches?
[Enter. Romeo. and.
Juliet.]
Juliet. You. lying.
stupid. fatherless. big. smelly. half-witted. coward. You. are. as.
stupid. as. the. difference. between? a! handsome! rich? brave!
hero? and. thyself.
Romeo. You. are. as.
stupid. as. the. sum. of. a. beautiful. flower! and. a. blossoming?
black. tree. You. Are. as. lonely. as. the. sum. of. Romeo. and.
thyself. Speak. your! mind?
Juliet? You. rich!
lovely! handsome! brave! huge! tree! Speak! YOUR!
mind!
Romeo! You! are! a!
stupid! devil. You? are! as! trustworthy? as! the? difference. of!
a! tree! and! thyself! Open! your! heart!
Juliet! You! are! a!
vile! furry. chihuahua. You? are. as. clever. as. the. sum. of.
Juliet. and! thyself? Open? your. heart.
Romeo. You. are. an.
amazing. beautiful. blossoming. bold. brave? charming! clearest!
cunning? wind! You? are. as. stupid. as! the. difference. of.
thyself! and. a! brave. brave. brave? man. Speak. your.
mind.
Juliet. You. sweet.
pretty. prompt! golden? loving? plum. Speak! your!
mind!
Romeo! You! bottomless!
purse! Open! your. heart? You! are! the? sum! of? an. amazing!
beautiful! cousin! and! a! graceful. tree. Open? your.
heart.
Juliet. You. are. as.
fat-kidneyed. as. the! product? of? a. golden. beautiful. graceful.
angel. and. a. trusty. worried. tree. You? are! as! distasteful?
as! the? sum. of! thyself. and. Juliet? You. are. as. distasteful.
as. the. sum! of? thyself? and. Juliet. You. are. as. dusty. as.
the. sum? of! thyself! and? a! delicious? mistletoe. Speak! your!
mind!
Romeo. Open. your?
heart. OPEN. YOUR. HEART.
Juliet. You. blister!
You? are? as. snotty! as! the! sum! of! a! black. blue? bold! moon!
and? thyself! Open? your. heart!
Romeo! Am! I. greater.
than? you.
Juliet. If. so. let. us.
proceed! to? Act? II.
Act. II. The. One.
Where. They. Exeunt.
Scene? I! The!
First? Scene! Of? The. Last! Act. Which! Would! Be! The! First!
Scene. In. The. Act. Where. They. Shall.
Exeunt!
[Exeunt.]
After the obligatory 15 minutes, Prospero returned to see what
the Babes had written.
Prospero looked at the two pickup lines that the two Babes wrote
for him, and just grinned. "These programming primates certainly
can program, and they have a certain charm to them as well." He
thought to himself, in a sililoquy a lá Shakespeare. Prospero
walked out of the room, pickup lines swirling in his head, with one
Babe in each hand.
The cache is zntargvp at an in-theme location.
Thou mayest validate thy solution with
certitude
if thou wisheth.
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