Dihydrogen Monoxide: the Ubiquitous Menace
I was hiking on this trail to a nearby cache and what I saw made
my blood boil: Dihydrogen Monoxide. And not a naturally
occurring outcropping, but an abandoned containment device. Frozen
in my tracks, the shock of my discovery momentarily clouded my
judgement. I later decided to call attention to this outrage lest
the incident float from my memory to be forgotten in the mists of
time.
For those not yet familiar with this scourge, Dihydrogen
Monoxide (aka Hydrogen Hydroxide) is a colorless,
odorless chemical. Here are some horrifying facts about DHMO
:
- It kills more people annually than lightning and tornadoes
combined.
- It is the major component of acid rain.
- It is the single largest industrial byproduct in developed
nations.
- It damages lung tissue and corrodes iron.
- It is among the most widely used additives to food.
- It is potent enough to dissolve even the most powerfully
corrosive acids and bases
- Access to highly purified forms of this precious compound has
been the cause of border disputes and wars for millenia.
- For strategic reasons, all nations have their largest port
located near an ample supply.
- Nuclear power plants use it to cool radioactive containment
rods.
- Cats can sense it and wisely fear it although dogs do not.
- In some parts of the world, the natural airborne concentration
is so high that people either have to wear protective clothing or
stay indoors on the worst days.
- Concentrations of it on earth can sometimes get so high that it
can be seen from space with the naked eye.
- It sometimes vents suddenly and violently in locations with
high volcanic activity such as Yellowstone National Park.
- Corporate agribusiness spreads it more widely than fertilizer
to increase yields.
- Athletes find it to be a performance enhancing substance, even
including it in Gatorade, Red Bull and other energy drinks.
However, no sport league currently tests for it.
- Sharks cannot attack without exposure to it.
Locally, Austin has not been immune from its scourge :
- Barton Springs frequently has to be closed after concentrations
get too high due to excessive runoff.
- In 2010, after years of progressive decline, Lake Travis has
seen concentrations of this substance rise to near record
levels.
- The Edwards Aquifer is now thoroughly contaminated with it and
raw sewage contains it in especially high concentrations.
- After the Deep Water Horizon drilling accident in the Gulf of
Mexico, large amounts are washing ashore on the pristine beaches of
the Gulf and will continue to do so indefinitely.
Did you know that the City of Austin profits from massive
pipelines to carry it pressurized underground throughout our town,
through our neighborhoods, and even near our schools! Who
holds these elected officials accountable for this?
For more information on the dangers of DHMO, please see www.dhmo.org
At this spot you will see incontrovertible evidence of the City
of Austin's direct involvement with and support of
Dihydrogen Monoxide. I placed the cache as near as I could to this
abandoned device to heighten awareness. Although it appears to be
properly contained for now, use extreme caution.