What a weekend!! Everyone knew we’d hear Orlando’s, but a friggin’ Orlando’s character set? 64 minutes of pure bliss! Little Taz was there. Phil Lesh. Matisyahu. Even Bernie was there preaching to the choir! But now that it’s over, I’ve got a long walk home, and a serious case of the munchies!! I don’t know what it is about these festivals, but I always leave with the munchies!
As I leave the Park, and cross the railroad tracks onto Lake Street, I catch a whiff of something coming from an old brick-front building. Mmm! Hops!! Well, it won’t cure my munchies, but I certainly can’t pass this place up! As I enter the building and step up to the bar, I notice a row of taps just to the left of the young lady serving drinks. The taps are broken into three groups and I order a flight of the center group. I’m sure you’re probably wondering how many samples are in this flight?
Well, that place was a nice diversion, but I’ve still got the munchies. I head about ¼ mile south on Lake until I come to my favorite breakfast joint. And it’s still open! And they serve Heady Topper! I’ll have the Sassquash, please. Local roasted squash, spinach, local chevre, And VT apples ( cuz you gotta like apples, man). Yum! As I leave, I count the number of windows on the front of the building (facing the lake). I even counted that semi-circled one at the very top. You should probably count them too.
But I’ve still got the munchies. I’m heading up College St. looking for something to fill my belly when I notice a strange looking man in the window of a restaurant eating a bowl of kheer with a Heady Topper. That’s funny! He looks just like that guy who wanders around Liberty Reservoir, pretending to be a bear, and chasing geocachers. I notice the red neon sign (particularly the first letter) head on in and join him. It turns out that he’s coming from the same festival that I was at. What a coincidence?
But I’ve still got ‘dem munchies! Well, there’s got to be a few places on Church Street that I could try. So, I keep heading up College St., turn left, pass City Hall, and come to another place which looks pretty good. This looks like the kind of place for a plate of beef bourguignon (paired with Heady Topper of course) so I place my order and have a seat outside. As I’m waiting for my food, I check out the historic building, and count the vertical letters on the side facing College Street.
Munchies? Yep…still got ‘em! I know just the thing. Tacos! And I know just the place (and yes, they serve Heady Topper too). I head a block up Church St. and turn down Bank until I get to the best tacos in the world. I finish off a trio plate of lengua, hongos, and camarones and wash it down with yet another Heady Topper. As I’m stumbling out of the door, wouldn’t you know it, I turn right into that big steel post with the sign way above. I shout out, "Someone help! I think I'm being concussed!!" But no one pays me any attention. Being somewhat dazed, I can’t read the sign, however I count the letters in that funny word right below the name of the restaurant. I think it probably translates to tacos, but who knows?
Oh, fudge! Still got the seemingly incurable munchies!! Well, when in Rome they say, so there’s only one place to go now. I’ll take my Vermonster with equal parts Phish Food and Salted Caramel Core, thank you very much. No toppings! I always hallucinate that they’re little bugs and I don’t care for bugs in my food. They don’t serve Heady Topper here, but I, of course, have one more in my pocket to pair with my dessert. Perfecto!!! Then, for no other reason than to provide the final digit of the west coords, I count the number of big white letters above the bike rack.
And finally, I puke my guts out on the sidewalk and pass out in a nearby alley…
…el fin
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