Jimmy "Two Cups" MACHiato
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Difficulty:
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Terrain:
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Size: 
(large)
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This is the story of Jimmy, Jimmy "Two Cups" MACHiato.
From his time as a young lad, growing up on his parents farm near Anola, Jimmy had a passion for black gold. No, not the kind that made Texas famous, the other black gold; the nectar of the gods… Coffee. Jimmy had a taste for coffee like wine connoisseurs had for wine. He could tell you what day a bag of beans was roasted on with a wave of his hand across a freshly opened bag. The slightest sip and he could tell you not just which country the beans were from but what mountain. For that to happen, the coffee had to be brewed right. Jimmy could also tell you if the brewing process was wrong and exactly what was wrong in the process.
At school, Jimmy was never without a coffee mug. The teachers tried to enact rules that would keep him from his constant fix. It was difficult, however, to enforce when Jimmy would simply point to the teacher’s own coffee mug as a sign of hypocrisy. Eventually, they relented and Jimmy was allowed to have his brew.
The trouble began when other students got wise to the fact that Jimmy could make a good cup of coffee. Not just ‘good’ he would always correct them, ‘perfect.’ The business started small, just a couple of friends finding him on the playground for their morning fix. As word got out, Jimmy’s morning business picked up and students had to find him between classes. The business got so busy that he had to expand by hiring runners to deliver the goods to students at different pickup locations around the school. Unconfirmed rumours still exist that several teachers were amongst Jimmy’s best customers.
It was during his time in high school where his nickname “Two Cups” was earned. The chess team needed an edge, so they started ordering larger and larger cups of coffee. Every time, the order was sent back and it was always a perfect ‘Two Cups’. Jimmy’s philosophy was that anything more than two cups and the flavour would be imperfect as the coffee cooled near the bottom of the mug. So he restricted everyone to a maximum of ‘Two Cups.’
How some students got around this, was to order double shots of espresso with their coffee. Jimmy, however, was always two steps ahead of them. The coffee would be delivered ‘as ordered’ but with only a single espresso shot. The kicker was, he would still charge them for the double shot. As he got older, he not only got smarter, he got greedier.
Time went on and Jimmy graduated out of high school. Instead of going straight to University like many of his friends and customers; Jimmy decided to stick closer to home. With a large amount of capital saved from his business dealings during his schooling, Jimmy was able to purchase his own building in downtown Anola. Within months, Jimmy’s “Two Cups” coffee shop was a bustling hub of activity. All the townsfolk knew where to get a good cup of coffee and Jimmy was the guy to make it.
For Jimmy’s part, he considered the towns people to be simpletons when it came to coffee tasting. He experimented with different blends and roasts but always made it perfect. At first, he was astounded that people couldn’t tell the difference between Ethiopian Yirgacheffe and Hawaiian Kona blend. To him, it was like the difference between Orange Crush and Root Beer. He was equally offended when he brought a sample of Kopi Luwak coffee to surprise a few of his best customers and not one of them could tell the difference from their regular Columbian brew. Jimmy’s heart hardened and from that moment on, he became mean in his dealings with his customers. He was still just as friendly and chatty as always, but he started to purchase cheaper coffee blends and brewed them in a plain drip process rather than the more complicated distilling method he had always used. When customers would order multiple espresso shots, he would still just give a single and charge them double. Why should he care?
One day, that all changed. A Geocacher named glacier_ice was passing through town and in need of a caffeinated fix. He had recently acquired a taste for a MOAC coffee. (Mother of all coffees) Today, on a round the clock blitz of geocaches in the region, it was a day that called for large amounts of caffeine. Stepping through the door, he could feel that he was in a special place; a place that knew coffee. It just hung in the air.
Stepping up to the counter, he looked at Jimmy and ordered a MOAC. Jimmy paused to look at him, he hadn’t heard of this one before. Glacier_ice then clarified for him, “A large coffee with four shots of espresso.”
In Jimmy’s mind, this was one messed up individual. That’s a ton of caffeine. Besides which, there’s no way he’d know the difference in flavour. So Jimmy did what he’d always done, shorted the customer. With a smile, he handed over the large coffee with the single shot and charged him for the quad. His customer had been busy looking out the window, so it was an easy switch.
Outside, glacier_ice took a sip and knew that something was off. A second sip confirmed it; there was only a single shot of espresso in the coffee. A mistake must have been made. Turning on his heel, he re-entered the store. “Sir, I believe there has been an error. There is only a single shot of espresso in this coffee.”
For the first time in his life, someone actually challenged Jimmy over his coffee. That could only mean that he had finally found someone with the taste for coffee. Years before, this person would have become a comrade, a friend to share coffee conversations with. However, too long had his cold heart been allowed to get colder. “OUTRAGEOUS!” he yelled. “How dare you come into my shop, my town and tell me, ME! How to make coffee. You think you know coffee? You know nothing! Out! Out of my store!”
Jimmy had snapped, he had come out from around the counter with a coffee carafe which he shattered against the counter. Holding the handle that was connected to a shard of broken glass, he threatened glacier_ice, sliced the air once and caught his adversary on the forearm. His MOAC hit the floor and, holding his arm with his other hand, glacier_ice did the only thing he could do and backed out of the store. Jimmy chased him into the street. “Never come back, ever!”
Hours later, the caffeine withdrawl started to hit. Glacier_ice found himself trying to stay awake and began to have hallucinatory thoughts. They were dark thoughts. Dark seeds of ideas that only a caffeine addict could appreciate. “Two Cups must pay.” The seed started to take root, and before long a plan was hatched, a phone call made.
It was dark by the time glacier_ice arrived at the Jenga Ranch. TurdleEggs quietly stole out of his house. “I need a dump spot,” was the statement.
TurdleEggs peered into the window. “What’s the package?”
Glacier_ice stepped out of his vehicle and popped the trunk. Peeling back the lid of a large camo’d Rubbermaid, TurdleEggs leaned over and looked in with a flashlight. “Hey, that’s Jimmy Two Cups! What did he do, leak in your Corn Flakes?”
“Worse, cheaped out on my coffee.”
“Okay… remind me not to mess with your coffee.” TurdleEggs pulled out his GPS. “I know just the spot.”
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The moral of the story: Don’t mess with a Geocacher’s coffee. We know where to hide the bodies.
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Please note: The log book and tradeables are in the ammo can. Please leave Jimmy in the bin.
Additional Hints
(Decrypt)
V yvxr n Fgneohpxf Tenaqr Obyq Oynpx. Abg ernyyl n uvag, ohg gb fgnl ba zl tbbq fvqr, vg'f tbbq vasbezngvba gb xabj. :)