Cache is not at the posted coordinates.
Other caches in this series:
Al-ternatives (GC6C29T)
Al-buquerque (GC6RJ9R)
To solve this puzzle, first determine the values for A...L
The cache can be found at: N 34° αβ.γδε W 118° ζη.θικ
Where:
α = K - I
β = A - B
γ = B + H
δ = E - G
ε = A + F
ζ = D + C
η = J - L
θ = J - D
ι = C + L
κ = F + K
A. Dare To Be Stupid
You can be a coffee achiever. __________
- You can stand out in a blizzard till you get a fever. (A = 3)
- You can tell your friends that you're a UFO believer. (A = 1)
- You can sit around the house and watch Leave It To Beaver. (A = 4)
- You can run around the block with a giant meat cleaver. (A = 7)
B. Tacky
43 Bumper Stickers and a YOLO license plate. __________
- Even for my kid's recital I always show up late. (B = 9)
- Bring along my coupon book whenever I'm on a date. (B = 4)
- Buy a lot of chardonnay and I get it by the crate. (B = 6)
- Always have some dental floss for whenever I have to wait. (B = 5)
C. Virus Alert
It'll make your keyboard all sticky, give your poodle a hickey, __________
- and invest your cash in stock in Euro Disney. (C = 3)
- and make your login password extra tricky. (C = 5)
- and friend your Facebook page to a real sickie. (C = 8)
- and switch your bank account to a guy named "Mickey". (C = 9)
D. Handy
Still rocking my screwdriver. __________
- I can fix that light switch for a fiver. (D = 7)
- In a clogged cesspool I'm a great diver. (D = 9)
- And I'm the best wallpaper reviver. (D = 3)
- Got the whole world thinking I'm MacGyver. (D = 2)
E. Living With A Hernia
Walk real funny, bless my soul. __________
- My condition takes a serious toll. (E = 3)
- My abdomen has a painful hole. (E = 7)
- I'm all hunched over, like a crippled troll. (E = 4)
- Can't play tennis and it's hard to bowl. (E = 6)
F. Smells Like Nirvana
Here we are now, we're Nirvana. __________
- While we sing we eat lasagna. (F = 4)
- Play under water, with piranha. (F = 6)
- Sing distinctly? We don't wanna. (F = 2)
- Speech is slurred from breathing ammonia. (F = 3)
G. Skipper Dan
I shoulda listened when my grandfather said, _________
- "Why don't you major in business instead?" (G = 3)
- "Please don't let show business go to your head." (G = 8)
- "With the path that you're taking, you'd be better off dead." (G = 2)
- "If you keep on with this acting you won't have any bread." (G = 7)
H. I Lost On Jeopardy
Don't know what I was thinkin' of, I guess I just wasn't too bright. __________
- My opponents knew the answers and I couldn't put up a fight. (H = 9)
- Well, I sure hope I do better, next weekend on the Price Is Right. (H = 5)
- Time to head home, and drown my troubles, by drinkin' a six-pack of Sprite. (H = 0)
- And it even was the wrong show to have a chance to meet Vanna White. (H = 4)
I. First World Problems
Tried to fast forward commercials, can't - I'm watching live T.V. __________
- I'm pretty sure the cookies in this airport lounge ain't gluten free. (I = 6)
- My favorite country club golf course wouldn't even waive the greens fee. (I = 4)
- Sometimes when I tell people my opinions they don't pay attention to me. (I = 1)
- Ordered dinner at a fancy restuarant, but they didn't have the right iced tea. (I = 9)
J. Word Crimes
Go back to pre-school. Get out of the gene pool. __________
- Sit on that dunce stool. (J = 7)
- Your skills are not cool. (J = 1)
- People think you're a fool. (J = 6)
- Try your best to not drool. (J = 9)
K. CNR
Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion, but he never ever told a soul. __________
- He could even swim across the Pacific if he ever made that his goal. (K = 3)
- I've seen the man unhinge his jaw, and swallow a Volkswagen whole. (K = 7)
- Once he even substituted for an injured player in the Super Bowl. (K = 9)
- When he wanted to visit China he made his own route by digging a hole. (K = 5)
L. Ricky
You always burn the roast and you drop the dishes too. __________
- It's always crazy schemes and it's always something new. (L = 1)
- You got attacked by a gorilla while just walking through the zoo. (L = 0)
- You iron my new shirt and you burn a hole right through. (L = 5)
- And the next thing I know, you're stuck to the floor with glue. (L = 8)
You can validate your puzzle solution with certitude.