Have a Jolly-Wally Christmas (2015) Mystery Cache

The final geocache is NOT located at the posted coordinates, so don't waste your time looking there. There is nearby parking at the actual cache location, which is based on the clues given below. Bring your own writing tool and please be discrete and respectful of the property in order to not disrupt business. Permission for the hide is granted by the Business Owner. Thank him if you see him.

I've often been accused by close family members of being slooooow to catch the holiday spirit. They've even associated me with the phrase Bah, Humbug!!! Well, in my defense, I simply don't want to peak too early. Starting holiday shopping in early July would have me peaking in July instead of late December. Hence, just to PROVE I am not a Scrooge in 2015, I present this hide to you as a holiday gift in the form of a little fun (hopefully, the puzzle won't prove too difficult) and an easy smiley (pretty straightforward hide).

Cultures around the world are steeped with traditions and beliefs during this time of year.  These range from the observances of expectation and celebration of the Christ child’s birth to watching the NORAD radar reports from a US Air Force facility hidden inside a mountain in Colorado to track Santa Claus’ Christmas Eve trek around the world.  For this cache, all you have to do is associate the listed seasonal traditions to its country.  Find that country in the table and substitute the coordinate digit for that row in the final cache’s coordinates.

Final Cache Location = North AB CD.EFG,  West  XHJ KL.MNP

For example, consider the clue for ‘X’.

X = Children live in fear of Krampus - a Christmas devil who’s said to beat naughty children with branches.

As everybody knows (after all, there is even a movie titled Krampus scheduled for release to theaters December 4, 2015), this is a belief in Austria.  From the table, the Coordinate Digit for Austria is ‘0’.  Now, you are well on your way to determining the cache’s final coordinates:

North AB CD.EFG,  West  0HJ KL.MNP

It really is that easy! You can check your answers for this puzzle on GeoChecker.com.

Have a JOLLYWALLY Holiday!

Here are the clues:

A = Picture this.  It’s a race on Christmas Eve… running down the stairs with my brothers and sisters to search for that elusive pickle in the Christmas tree.  You’d think my geocaching experience with all those Pine Tree Caches would pay off.  YES! There it is.  Now where’s my prize  I hope it’s more than a piece of paper where I can claim FTF.  This tradition was primarily thought to have originated in _____.

B = It's Christmas Eve.  We better hide all our brooms before those evil spirits and witches take them.

C = Uh oh! It’s the 12 Days of Christmas; those evil goblins are emerging from the underworld to wreak havoc on us.  We better hang a pig jaw in the chimney to ward them off.  I sure hope Santa won’t mind.

D = Yum, Yum! I can just smell the Dominos Pizza now that it’s Christmas Eve.  I can’t wait to enjoy the Kentucky Fried Chicken tomorrow.

E = Gather your roller skates.  It’s time to go to Christmas Mass.

F = Let’s see. What are we forgetting for the Christmas tree.  Lights? Check!, Christmas balls? Check! Garland? Check! Tree Topper? Check!  Oh yeah.  Don’t forget the artificial spider and web to bring us luck and fortune for the coming year.

G = I think it’s ridiculous that you leave cookies and milk out for Santa.  I know for sure that he’ll visit my house to get the mince pie and the perfect pint of Guinness I leave waiting for him.

H = Send your letters to Santa here.  It’s his own personal postal code H0H 0H0 (Ho Ho Ho).  Be sure you include your return address.  Santa’s elves respond to each and every letter they receive.

J = On the last Sunday before advent, everybody in our family takes a turn stirring the Christmas pudding.  As we each stir it clockwise (East to West to honor the three wise men travels to visit the baby Jesus), we make a wish. As much work as it is to stir it, I usually wish for it to stir itself.  At any rate, that’s how we spend Stir-up Sunday.

K = It’s Christmas Eve and I feel so honored.  The town has chosen ME!  I get to parade through the streets carrying a mare skull on a stick.  Yippee!!!

L = I love traditional Christmas foods.  What could be more appetizing than raw whale skin, served with blubber? I know.  How about 500 auk birds stuffed into a seal skin, and left to ferment for 7 months.

M = Move over you turkey.  My traditional Christmas Day meal includes deep-fried caterpillars of the Emperor Moth.  Excuse me while I…

N = Nice Nativity scene. I see the baby Jesus in the manger.  There’s the wise men.  Oh, and I can even smell the animals.  Wait! That’s not the animals I smell.  Who put that guy that’s pooping in there?

P = That was a fabulous Christmas dinner we had at midnight on Christmas Eve, until… OUCH! Who put that almond in the rice pudding? They say that whoever gets the “mandel i risengrød” will have good luck, maybe even get married in the coming year.  I’ll let you know how that works out after I get back from the dentist (hopefully without a gap in my smile).

X = Children live in fear of Krampus - a Christmas devil who’s said to beat naughty children with branches.

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I hope you enjoy this year's puzzle.  If you did, here are some others you may find amusing.