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The Jester's Car Wash Traditional Geocache

Hidden : 3/31/2013
Difficulty:
2 out of 5
Terrain:
2 out of 5

Size: Size:   regular (regular)

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Geocache Description:

I tell people I got mad at my van and drowned it in a river. My wife tells me there were cheaper ways to wash the van. Whichever way it was. this cache is placed a year later to 'celebrate' the incident.


On March 31, 2012 I was heading over the mountains to join the crew for the March Hike Of The Month (organized by Totem Lake) up the Teanaway River valley. Just outside of Cle Elum I found a few of inches of new fallen snow. It didn't seem too slippery, but it did slow the speed some. I could see that only a couple of cars had travel in ahead of me - I guessed it was the rest of the crew - and very few (if any, at times) cars had traveled out. About 10 miles up the Teanaway River Road, as I came around a slight downhill corner, my van's back end spun free and twisted me sideways in the road, aimed right at a bridge abutment. Before I could do much but anticipate the impact, the drive wheels must have grabbed traction again, and I launched off the road and into the river. From looking at the site and damage to the van, the first thing was the drivers side front wheel left the pavement causing the van to tip and impact the abutment - that dent broke and sealed the drivers door. It then dipped and dove into the water with a twist to the passenger side, which caused the van to roll onto that side. The van stopped, resting on the passenger side, facing up river. The airbags did not deploy, but the seatbelt kept me from bouncing all over the front seats. Water instantly filled the passenger half of the van and I was hanging from my seatbelt just above the surface.



Not knowing how stable the van was, or how deep it was going to get, my first instinct was to get out of the seatbelt and exit the vehicle - easier said than done. With my whole weight on the seatbelt, I couldn't get it to release. It took a couple of tries to get myself braced to remove the weight, open the seatbelt and then stand up (which was sideways in the car, waist deep in water). I’m just glad I didn’t have a passenger, as they would have been completely under water - but the good thing would have been, I could have gotten their seatbelt undone and freed them very quickly. I tried to open the door, but the mechanism was broken in the crash. One feature of that van was the power stayed on for about a minute and a half after turning it off, so windows and lights would work. I tried the window control and the window opened! Thank God! My other options were to use a trek pole to break the window or kick out the windshield - neither that easy. I climbed up the seats and sat on top of the drivers door to take stock of the situation.



I was, more or less, dressed for the weather (nylon pants and shirt, pile vest and rain jacket) except I had on Teva’s not boots (I was planning on putting them on at the trailhead). I was soaked to just above my waist, sitting on a vehicle in the middle of a river, with mixed rain/snow falling. All the survival gear I could need was in the back of the van, under water. As I was contemplating ‘diving’ in and getting stuff, one of my trek poles floated into view. Great, that will make the river crossing easier. Then a boot floated by - my reaction was “My boots float!?!” Then I fished it out with the trek pole and started looking for the other one, which I found floating just behind the seat. They were wet, but so was I and figured they’d protect my feet from the snow better than the Teva’s. I also grabbed a small duffle bag of extra clothes that I spotted (soaked but extra layers if I needed them). I put on the boots, tossed the duffle bag to shore, and then wrote a short note in the dirt on the side of the van (in case, someone saw the vehicle while I was absent: “8:15am gone for help”). I climbed down the undercarriage and stood on the lower wheel to probe the river. It was only about 2.5 feet deep and not very fast. So I waded to shore - surprisingly the water didn’t seem all that cold, maybe it was the adrenaline in my system - and debated which way to go. Across the river I could see a fence line, but had no idea if there was a house nearby. Back the way I came I knew there were houses no more than 2-3 miles back. I walked across the bridge and around the corner but didn’t see any sign of houses, so headed back down the road. Within a couple of hundred yards I passed the 10 mile marker. I was getting a little chilled but not too bad. I’d walked to the 9 mile marker when I spotted a car oncoming. I stepped into the lane to flag them down (I wasn’t about to let them pass) and asked for help. They, a group of fellow Mountaineer’s, were also heading to the trailhead for a hike. They were able to call 911 and get help on the way. They stayed with me until about 9:30 when the police arrived, and took many of the pictures on this page. The officer took my statement, looked around the scene and complemented me on actions (and luck). Two tow trucks arrived to pull the van out (I wish I could have gotten some pictures of that, quite interesting) - the ‘funny’ thing I noticed when the van was pulled out (about 11:00am) the one remaining headlight was still on, the van never lost power the three hours it was in the river.

Once we made it back to town, I had to get a hold of my wife, who was taking some training that day at work (that’s why she wasn’t sitting next to me in the van). I was rattled enough that I couldn't remember her ‘new’ phone number. I kept getting part of her old number mixed in. My phone screen kept messing up just before I could pull up her number, finally I just tried speed dial - and it worked! So she was able to drive over and pick me up. I sat in a local restaurant and drip dried until she arrived.

For all that I went thru, I had no bruises, no scratches, no aches, pains or pulled muscles. A little cold, a little wet, but I walked away from it - destroyed the van but that’s replaceable.

Of the four pieces of electronics I had with (GPSr mounted on windshield, PDA in pocket, cell phone in pocket and camera in pack) the only one that full recovered was the $10 flip-phone. The GPSr was rated at 3 feet of water for thirty minutes, the buttons never recovered from the one foot dunk. The PDA was totally dead - but it was cheap and I had backup. The camera - three hours under water - came back about 80%, buttons and lens motor don’t always work.

A climbing buddy of mine said “If it had to happen, I’m sorry I wasn’t along to go thru it with you.” I replied “You would have been completely under water.” He came back “No problem. I’d of climbed you like a 5.4 pitch!”



Here I am pointing to the spot where the van impacted the abutment, I'm just about 6' so it gives you a sense of the drop. After that picture I found a spot near to where I came ashore to hide the cache. It's a Lock n' Lock hidden not too far away but should be out of the flood area. It started off with stuff for both kids and adults - even a couple of cars if you want to recreate my adventure in miniture.

I'd advise parking carefully - and no where near where I did! - south of the bridge on the east side of the road.

Additional Hints (Decrypt)

Bar gerr jrfg-fbhgu-jrfg bs gur gevb.

Decryption Key

A|B|C|D|E|F|G|H|I|J|K|L|M
-------------------------
N|O|P|Q|R|S|T|U|V|W|X|Y|Z

(letter above equals below, and vice versa)