WordNerd #1: Scrambled Wolves Mystery Cache

This is a mystery cache. The listed coordinates are for the parking. You must solve the puzzle below to determine the final coordinates. You need to make a keen observation and then do some detailed analysis. The final coordinates are within one mile of the parking coordinates.

This unorganized, nefarious, and unforgivable documentation is my offering to those tenacious puzzle solvers and delusional word voluptuaries. I work at a mountainside oceanarium that serves alliaceous bouillabaisse with cauliflower for malnourished tourists. I have bivouacked abstemiously among the tallest sequoias while outmaneuvering other mendacious mountaineers. I am also ambidextrous, mustachioed, and perspicacious, but not overanxious with speculation on the graciousness with which discouraged ideologues will facetiously appreciate this inconsequential regurgitation of language beautification.

This sacrilegious education is authorized by unsanctioned authorities who are unequivocal fountainheads of miscellaneous puzzle regulation. These unrecognizable, ultraconservative multimillionaires popularized this puzzle’s groundbreaking equation. The solution’s boundaries are not insurmountable, but any underestimation of the “strangeness” of this paragraph could result in pandemonium, undiagnosed exhaustion, and evacuation from one’s subordinate sanity. This could lead to communicable pneumonia rather than the unavoidable neurological euphoria of uncomplicated stupefaction. The unprofessional and revolutionary title is simultaneously an ostentatious hint and a precarious permutation of encouraging words for those unaccomplished milquetoasts of the word-puzzle persuasion who need evolutionary rejuvenation and emasculation of their ego.

Any denunciation or repudiation of the gregarious sentence structure would be uncomplimentary and result in attenuation of hallucinogenic brainwaves. One precaution: The word choices are not unintentional. I could provide an unapologetic evaluation of the auditioned dialogue to be caught on audiophile audiotape. No more prosecutorial recapitulation, or continuance. Most discombobulated solvers get it instantaneously, with an autogenesis of an uncoordinated desire to be institutionalized.

1. Quantify the strangeness of this essay with one number. That number is A.
2. Quantify the strangeness of each paragraph. Those numbers are B, C and D.
3. Identify two elements in this essay that are strange and even more special than the others. The sequential word positions of those elements are E and F. For example, the word “serves” is the 26th word.

You can check your answers for this puzzle on
Geochecker.com.