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Difficulty:
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Terrain:
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Size: 
(micro)
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Simple puzzle, reasonable terrain, no long bushwhack, no trades required. You could almost forgive it for being a micro.
The cache is emphatically not at the posted coordinates. The posted coordinates correspond to a location that Google Earth suggests is private property, situated in the middle of a large agricultural field. You likely wouldn’t want to go there without a very good non-geocaching-related reason.
I decided to put out a simple puzzle cache that would reflect a couple of the other loves in my life (besides my wife and geocaching, which are, of course, in two entirely different leagues). This is it.
Two my other loves are reading and humour (especially puns). So when I discover an author like Spider Robinson, who includes puns as an integral part of his novels, it’s a real treat. (Sample Spider Robinson novel title: “Lady Slings the Booze.”)
To find this cache, you have to find the word suggested by the missing words in the following three phrases. (Don’t blame me; Spider Robinson included/inspired them in one of his novels.)
1. When the comic’s a ham, and his name’s Amsterdam, that’s ______________
2. When two patterns entwine, and they leave you half blind, that’s ______________
3. When you swim inna the sea, and an eel bitesa you knee, that’s ______________
(These phrases may be somewhat easier for Anglophones. Il me faut t’offrir mes excuses, cron, but most of the time bilingual jeux de mots are beyond my humble skills.)
Once you’ve found the word, determine the address of the Ottawa restaurant associated with it. Then --
1. Let A be the number of characters in the name of the road it’s on.
2. Let B be the digital root of the name of the road.
3. Let C be the first digit of the numeric portion of the street address of the business.
4. Let D be 100*A + 10* B + C. (As a check, D will have three digits.)
Treat D as a number of milli-minutes, and add it to both the latitude and longitude of the posted coordinates to get the actual cache location. E.g., if D were 123, you’d add 0.123 to the posted coordinates’ latitude and longitude.
N.B. When you log this cache, I respectfully ask that you include, in your geocaching.com log, a suitable bit of humour, preferably a pun. Remember that you will eventually have hundreds of potential readers. This is your chance to shine, so please don’t waste it; let those following you see just what heights or horrors you’re capable of. Please bear in mind that the true standard for the quality of a pun is not the percentage of listeners who groan at it, but the percentage of them who run screaming from the room.
The cache container is a black 35 mm film canister in a metal holder, suspended from a branch at roughly shoulder height (No trees were harmed in the placing of this cache!). It contains only a scroll log sheet, and no pencil, so please bring your own writing instrument. I’ll politely discourage trades.
When Camo-crazed and I placed the cache, after averaging, we got an EPE of 2.5 meters, but since he predicted the hide from well over 30 meters away, you shouldn’t have any problem spotting it. Please park safely.
Additional Hints
(Decrypt)
Urnq bs n havirefvgl qrcnegzrag